Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
