Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
