help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
