Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
