I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
