Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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