at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
