false alarm. still invincible.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
