spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
