also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
