Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
