I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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