and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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