Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
