Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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