i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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