No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
