so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
