She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
