Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
