Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
