.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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