At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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