No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
