Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
