Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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