does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
