My liver just broke up with me...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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