i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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