butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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