plz talk dirty to me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
