You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
