The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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