She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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