If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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