it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
