either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
