i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
