I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
