You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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