plz talk dirty to me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
