i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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