garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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