My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
