Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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