He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
