you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
