I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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