What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
