the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
