He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
